Using Rituals of Connection to Build a Stronger Family

A famous author Bill Doherty discussed the idea of “rituals of connection” in his book The Intentional Family, and through this blog I want to explore the importance of these connections for a strong, happy family unit.

Just what is a ‘ritual of connection’? 

Well, when we explain a ritual, we refer to an action or event that helps build a strong connection between your partner and your family. 

Rituals can come in any shape or form and are unique to each family. Some rituals may be big or small, but each plays a significant role.

Rituals help create intentional focus, and intentional focus and attention helps build stronger and healthier relationships.

Small Rituals

A small ritual can actually be an action you take on every day that is part of your daily routine and often goes unnoticed. For example:

  • Bedtime story telling with the kids
  • Good morning cuddles and greetings
  • Texts to teenagers to wish them well
  • Notes in lunch boxes
  • Making the morning coffee for your partner

Do any of these sound familiar? These are actually daily rituals which create the pattern for your family unit.

These small actions play such an important role in creating a sense of well-being and strength in unity.

Large Rituals

Larger rituals often revolve around family celebrations or key milestones. For example it could be birthdays, public holidays such as Easter or Christmas or perhaps events like first days at school.

In my family Halloween is a big deal. Yes, the holiday might not be that popular and ingrained in Australian culture, but for us, we make it a family celebration.

Rituals like this often help set traditions and great memories for families and can be passed on through the years. Remember, however you honour these large celebrations creates a sense of connectedness and being part of a special unit.

How can you create more rituals of connection?

Rituals and intentional focus go hand in hand, by creating family routines you are giving yourself the opportunity to give you loved ones more of your time and attention.

Rituals do not need to be complicated or create stress, do what you feel fits your family.

  • A regular Sunday family sit down meal?
  • Once a month cinema night?
  • Saturday brunch with the neighbours?
  • Board games night?

Final Thoughts

Life is fast paced and frantic, and each day our attentions are being pulled every which way. Our families are usually the first to suffer through these ever competing responsibilities – so what can you do to give your home life the love it deserves?

Ask yourself….

How are you celebrating special markers throughout the day? 

How do you connect with your unit through your actions? 

How are you as a family honouring special events that create belonging?

Let’s all take time to set a goal to create more moments of connection in our families.


Helping families develop stronger and healthier bonds is what we strive for at Spencer Health, so please get in touch if we can assist.